FIRST ASCENT! DAVID'S CRACK CLIMBED FREE

June 21, 1999

by John Lohr

"The art of climbing and vice versa have always been of great interest to me," quipped an exhausted Sloth as he topped out on what might turn out to be the climb of the Rennaissance. "The entire climb goes free once you pay for an admission ticket. Although it looks as if the crux would be below the nose out onto the face, the most difficult section actually involved a tricky wedgie move to gain the actual crack. After that, it was clear that it would go either as a lieback, or, more disgusting, as a hand jam," the Sloth reported. From the ground, the climb appears to be vertical, due to the perspective, but it actually is overhung most of the way, particularly so near the top, where the exaggeration of the scale of the features makes it appear to have been intended that the climb should have been located much further off the ground. An even more hung route lies on the opposite side of the formation and it is expected that this climb, featuring an interesting scrotal lieback to an improbable pinch hold, will be attempted now that the backside has yielded. The route is a 5.12 on marble for the most part. Although all the holds originally were chipped, avoid the urge to add nipples or acne pockets. There is a bolt on top for the rap off, or follow the stabilizing cables to the balcony and then descend by the stairs. Although the original natural surroundings have already been altered by large numbers of wild and crazy Italians, please, no additional "restoration" now that the route has gone free. Finally, a word about chalk, it's all chalk anyway, so use it.

The expanded book version of this awesome saga will be coming out soon. Thanks to Bruce Tashoff for suggesting the title. Look for "Touching the 'Roid" at a bookstore near you.

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Fri Sep 20 '02 dfvef eve (16)

A Los Alpinistas story by John Lohr. Art by Nick Clausen.